Penalties for Not Listening

Hockey player Paul Riome didn’t listen to his body or his doctor.  

Minor Penalty was undetected cancer.  Major Penalty was a permanent colostomy.  

Riome tells of his experiences, attitude adjustments, and comeback to hockey. 

The story is about overcoming colorectal cancer 

and showing other hockey “tough-guys” the importance of prevention.

Even with daily rectal bleeding for over 2 years, I refused tests and examinations.

“You got Cancer ...  Life-expectancy is uncertain”.  Reminiscent of nasty and unexpected hockey hits, I asked myself  “what the hell was that for?”  Of course there was no answer, but I adjusted quickly and vowed that after surgery, I would do everything that I could do before surgery, and I would play hockey again. 

Surgery day arrived.  A nurse fussed to be sure the hospital gown covered my backside.  I joked at the silly gesture, as a dozen people would see everything I had, from the outside and the inside. 

After 6 hours of surgery, “I am back and I am alive!”

During recovery at the hospital, I set my sights on completing what I named a sprint, a half-marathon, and a full-marathon (actually … a shuffle to the doorway, to the nursing station, then a full loop around the ward). 

The rehab routine was similar to hockey injuries, but the outcome would be drastically different, as the surgery damages could never be restored.  With trepidation, I started Public Skating, surrounded by grandparents teaching pre-school kids to skate.

Exactly four months after surgery, I was back playing hockey.  I was amazed at how many players made a point of acknowledgement, usually with the back-handed male style

‘… Nice you’re back, looking dangerous as ever’

‘… I always hated going into the corner with you, but now I’m really afraid of the sh*t flying’

‘… I thought with your butt sewn shut, that your stride would be shorter’  

After an aggressive altercation around the net, a large and hostile defenseman pummeled me with a verbal tirade of hockey-trash-talk.  I said ‘you can’t really call me that, because I don’t even have one’.  Instantly he went silent, smiled, put his arm around my shoulder, and said in amazement “you’re the one”. 

Hockey team-mates were curious, so I volunteered to answer any questions they had, and show them anything they wanted to see.  They all related to the red-neck attitude that prevents us from having rectal examinations and colonoscopies, even while knowing that these procedures are effective lifesavers.  

Earlier tests, with earlier detection, probably would have ‘saved my ass’ 

and I may have avoided the surgery and permanent colostomy  

Several wives (mostly with tears) told me it was my experience 

that convinced their husband to get a colonoscopy. 

I am humbly pleased that others have benefitted from my experiences

An ostomy is not as good as the original equipment 

but I get to live

Two years ago my doctor told me I could have a perfectly normal life with a colostomy. 

     I didn’t believe him then.  

     I do believe him now.

CLICK HERE to Read the full story published by The Phoenix magazine

Greg Doesn’t Golf anymore

Greg was the spark that started this Living Bigger With Colostomy blog. 

Greg golfed 6 days a week for 30 summers, then was diagnosed with T3 colon cancer, which resulted in surgery for a colostomy, as well as chemo and radiation.  

Greg quit golfing, fearing the embarrassment of changing a pouch while his golf-buddies waited, or the horrors of a pouch explosion.

Greg also quit driving and riding in a car, for fear of the seatbelt rubbing on his stoma.

Greg declined to lift grocery bags, for fear of a hernia.

Greg stayed in his house, intentionally remaining inactive, and gained enough weight that his pants didn’t fit.  So he started wearing his pouch outside his pants.  With this new humiliation, he refused to leave his house … so both Greg and his wife became reclusive.  This soon dragged both of them into a depression which brought apathy, and lowered confidence and motivation.  Soon Greg’s wife was changing his appliances for him, and they spiraled down together.

Greg and I talked a lot.  Cautiously, I shared many of my positive and active experiences living a normal life with a colostomy – wanting to show that he and his wife could live bigger, yet not wanting to intimidate with my adventures that would be unbelievable and unrealistic for him.  We had a few successes:

• Seatbelts – I drive, and carried a backpack with a hipbelt for 40 days.  Its OK for Greg to drive and ride.
• Pouch on the Outside – Buy pants 2 inches bigger, wear suspenders, and get the pouch back inside your pants!
• Pouch Explosions Golfing – I have golfed for 2 years and played over 100 hockey games (taking hits and blocking shots) and have never had an explosion. Greg is safe to golf ... and no reason to be embarrassed changing pouches on the golf-course, being much more environmentally sensitive than his buddies that relieve beer-overloads in the bushes.

 These small incremental successes are positive and encouraging.

Golfing with Greg is now on my bucket list !

King of the World

May 2012

Adventure opportunities sometimes just appear.  Take them before they vanish.  

 

I had flown to Torontoto visit ageing parents and attend a family wedding … where I learned that a boat was to be sailed from New York to Toronto. Crew was needed – Adventure was calling.  Five people and 5 days of provisions were unceremoniously stuffed into a Hyundai for a white-knuckled 7-hour drive to Troy NY. The pissing-down rain overpowered the wipers, so we joined a truck convoy and followed the trail of red tail-lights, arriving at our boat in the wee hours of the morning.

Our plan was to sail up the Hudsonand Mohawk Rivers, then through the 34 locks of the Erie and Oswego Canals, then across Lake Ontarioto Toronto … in 3-4 days.  On day-1, the big diesel motors were uncooperative, and we did just 1 lock.

Locks are giant water tanks that fill / empty to move boats between levels.

 

The crew’s job is to keep the boat away from the wall and other boats, as we are lifted up to 40 feet!

Adventure means new experiences 

... New activities, new landscape, new people, and new ideas.  And new food … quinoa may be the perfect food, and fermenting fruit may be healthy, but the combination is an unfriendly new experience for digestive systems.                             My ostomy-plumbing was the envy of the captain and crew.

It's a 7 hour journey across Lake Ontario, with barely a glimpse of land

This adventure was unforgettably awesome!  

Yet why did I hesitate to go?  

     Office or Adventure? … which should I do?  

Most adventures have vivid memories 

Weeks of office-time blend into grey nothings 

King of the World !

Ostomy and Cancer 

gave me the attitude to 

CHOOSE ADVENTURE 

Nepal2011: We are SO Fortunate

May 2011

We are unimaginably wealthy, compared to Nepalese standards …

Nepal is the poorest country in South Asia, and the 12th poorest country in the world

Average ANNUAL income is $450

57% of Nepalese live for under $60 per month -  30% live for under $12 per month

50% of Nepalese children under 5 years of age, are malnourished

Life expectancy for men is 63 years, and for women is 64 years.  Less in the countryside

Child mortality is the highest in Asia.  Maternal mortality is the highest in the world

Education, HealthCare and Drinking Water are NOT available to all

To travel in Nepal is to step into the bottom of the Third World. 

We have so much – they have so little.  

Yet it seems most countryside Nepalese are happier than we are.

Public Transportation means you walk

There are few roads.  Everything is hauled on someone’s back

Housing standards are not the same as ours

Stone buildings means every ‘brick’ is hand carved

In the countryside, there are no flush toilets

These woman in these kitchens will prepare meals for 20 guests

Nepalese People work hard

Yet Nepalese people seem genuinely happy

Sometimes we may think life is treating us badly so we feel justified to complain

But our hardships are insignificant in comparison with the life struggles of most Nepalese people. 

I found no Ostomy Supplies in Nepal. 

Our Nepalese guide was shocked by my Colostomy,

having never even heard about ostomies.  

It occurred to me that there are few (if any) ostomates in Nepal. 

People in Nepal don’t have ostomies – they just die

Considering this alternative ...

We are all so very fortunate to be alive

We should not complain. Ever.

Nepal2011: Colostomy Got Me Here

May 2011

Trekking to Everest Base Camp was an absolutely awesome trek! 

I can honestly say there was not a single minute when I thought I would rather be somewhere else.  Really!

I couldn’t dream for more … 

Spectacular Nepalese landscape

Happy & friendly Nepalese people

A varied but like-minded team from Canada

Physically & mentally challenging trek



Trekking to Everest Base Camp

was on my ‘bucket list’ for decades.

Cancer & Colostomy motivated me to

Just do it !

Nepal2011: Men in Photos

May 2011

I was told that most Nepalese people are shy and don’t want their pictures taken. I have full respect for their wishes, and never took pictures without their permission. 

Men were most difficult to photograph.  They didn’t ‘volunteer’ for a photograph, but often showed pride in their work, and would allow a photograph in that context. 

I think they appreciated our recognition of their strength, and the lame but sincere efforts to speak to them in their own language.

Trekking to Everest Base Camp was on my ‘bucket list’ for decades.

Cancer & Colostomy motivated me to

Just do it !

Nepal2011: Women in Photos

May 2011

I was told that most Nepalese people are shy and don’t want their pictures taken. I have full respect for their wishes, and never took pictures without their permission.  I was tentative about photographing women, not wanting to be intrusive, and unsure if a male foreigner was welcome.

A few Nepalese words, pronounced poorly, but with sincerity, often caused a smile

Elders'  faces show a lifetime of character

I had over 100 photos printed, shipped to Nepal, and delivered by our Guides.  I expect for many of these women, it would be their only picture.

Trekking to Everest Base Camp was on my ‘bucket list’ for decades.

Cancer & Colostomy motivated me to

Just do it !